Starting Over in Japan

 Moving to Japan has slowly made me erase pieces of my old life.

It really feels like starting from zero again. Everything is new here — the language, the system, the habits, the people, even the small daily routines. Every day feels like another lesson in adaptation.

Recently, I deleted the phone numbers I had been using since high school. It sounds simple, maybe even trivial to some people, but it felt strangely emotional. Those numbers carried years of memories. Friends, family, old classmates, late-night conversations, random calls, important moments — people knew me through those numbers. For a long time, those numbers were part of my identity.

And now, they no longer exist.

This morning, I woke up feeling unexpectedly sad. I suddenly realized that someone I once considered a close friend has never truly tried to stay in touch with me since I moved here. I was always the one reaching out first. Even when they replied, it felt reluctant, distant, almost forced.

Maybe some friendships are only meant to exist in certain chapters of life.

Maybe this is one of those moments where I need to quietly let go.

Then my thoughts drifted to my grandmother.

It has been five months since she passed away.

She used to call me almost every day — sometimes more than three times a day. Back then, I occasionally found it repetitive, almost funny. But now, the silence she left behind feels enormous. There is no longer a phone ringing with her voice on the other side.

No one checks on me the way she did.

No one asks the same simple questions every single day anymore.

And somehow, I miss all of it.

I think moving far away from home changes people in ways they never expect. Not only physically, but emotionally too. You begin to realize who stays, who fades away, and which memories quietly become irreplaceable.

Maybe this is part of growing older.

Learning that not everything lasts forever.

Learning to accept change, loneliness, distance, and loss without becoming bitter.

I hope all of these experiences make me more mature, more aware, and wiser as a person.

But tonight, if I’m being honest, I simply miss my close friend.

And I really miss my grandmother.